#LISTENING TO HER HEARTBEAT

[spooky-space-kook]

People from my childhood have been dying lately. All of them traumatically.

I can't really... express the unmooring that's come with that. I keep thinking that the framework of my life is being torn down person by person. The people who built my childhood are disappearing into dust, all while the isolation that started with COVID has only gotten deeper. I'm losing the people I had, the framework I had, and it's replaced by what feels like *nothing.*

The worst part is that they... still feel alive? In my memories? I can sit in a room here and now and be present while also seeing them in my memories, and the powerful urge to *warn them* just rocks my ass from nose to toes. I know it's just memory but god dammit they feel alive in there.

[turtledotjpeg]

@hxhbigbang24 time!!

I drew for this fic which made me SAD and also made my HEART WARM!! I will not say too much to avoid spoiling future chapters, but I illustrated a few moments from this scene near the end of the story that I loved!

[randomnameless]

Why do the FEH devs insist on ignoring Nabatean lore so much?

I recently had a surprisingly cordial discussion on redshit with someone about the "nabateans = colonisers" take, and one of the main points raised was that the game was purposedly foggy around Nabateans/Sothis/their story because it would obviously favor a certain narrative (and thus make another narrative look, uh, not that marketable anymore).

To be honest, we still ended up with a product that had a lead go "this race and its blood* is the reason why the world sucks" and yet that lead is still marketable enough to have raunchy cipher cards and 5 FEH alts, so I actually wonder if, while pissing on that lore had that purpose, it was ultimately pointless since Supreme Leader can still sell goodies despite her incarnation in FE16.

And not only Supreme Leader - but the entirety of WC where we basically have 70% of the cast crying/complaining about their "mixed blood" or lack of and basically adding their 10 cents to the "this race and its blood is the reason why the world sucks".

I mean, can you imagine Sylvain selling any goodies and alts if Flayn replied to his "wah wah people only are kind to me and want to fuck me because I have Nabatean blood :(" by some uncharacteristic "good for you, I have to hide my ears, had to dye my hair, have to lie about my family because if the truth is found out about my identity, I will be hunted and vivisected like an animal and harvested for parts by people who call my kin abominations - just like what happens in the game where the same people who call my kin "abominations" ally with a classmate who calls me a creature and pretends I am incapable of human feelings based on my race".

FE Fodlan's main selling point is its cast of students, for various reasons, but even if I tried to kid myself, Nopes and FEH made it clears : students are the main selling point.

If you spare more time and attention to the Nabatean plot/lore, the students either grow from "likeable" to "despicable" or worse, you won't gaf about them because yeah sure, Hilda might be upset because people expect things from her due to her crust, but it would feel like a "peanut" compared to Seteth's irrational (granted, it's not so irrational since GW exists) fear that Flayn's newest friends would dissect her if they learnt she was a Nabatean, and being conflicted by finally letting her have human friends and form bonds she crave, or protect her due to the trauma from the genocide of their species.

Don't get me wrong, I love peanuts, I mean, not everyone can have a tragik of loaded backstory!

And yet, given how this verse's DNA is "can you fight against the red emperor who uwus about you", they had to add copious amounts of Earl Grey to their games so there's no clear-cut factions :

The "Your alien blood and its influence on the world corrupted it, so I want to reform it under my command" vs "I don't want to die and you oppose me due to my race and side with the people who genocided my kin"

is turned to :

"Your alien blood Crests and its your church's influence on the world corrupted it, so I want to reform it under my command"

"I don't want to die and you oppose me due to my race and side with the people who genocided my kin"

Sprinkle with the cast's hammering here and there that the "reforms" might be needed - but never develop on what they are - and add a few baseless and groundless takes as a toping (basically everything Claude says about tolerance and the general "isolationism/foreign policy" stuff) and you get FE Fodlan where the Red Emperor's war isn't seen as the catastrophe it is in the other entries from the series!

Now, for FEH...

FWIW, the F!F!Billy's trailer had them try to explain that Sothis was a bit pissed about her slaughtered/massacred children when Nopes never gave any reason about why she was pissed - maybe on Billy's behalf bcs Jerry's dead, but come on, she would indeed deserve the medal of the worst parent in the franchise if that was the case, since Billy can murder her daughter without Sothis taking over ! - but given that they cannot write/go against the source game those characters are from.

They tried a bit, with B!Supreme Leader and Hegemongard's FB, but then it stopped (because she had no "new unit" released since then lol) and I can understand why : Hegemongard came out before the Supreme Emblem, and Hegemongard hates dragons who are seen/perceived as gods by some of their human followers. Come FE17, and now Supreme Emblem accepts Alear because they are "one of the good ones". We can come up with HCs and details and talk about what are emblems or if Hegemongard's views were only hers at the end of AM all day long... But imo, Doylist wise, it still feels it's a retcon because the devs from the main games tried to scrap and remove the most "controversial" traits she had.

For the other characters... Well, you see what Marianne is in FEH (but even in her base games), she's one of the few characters who reacts - in a way - to the partial history about relics and demonic beasts and all... only to give sad uwus to Maurice.

FE16 (and Nopes) refused to have any "student" character react to the Nabatean lore/reveal, about what are relics and all. There are no lines, Claude shared some knowledge in the explore section of VW's last chapter, but we don't have anyone muse or think or even talk about what are relics, what are crests, and what kind of fuckery their ancestors or the ancient humans of Fodlan did.

With that in mind, FEH can't do much : either they write Marianne in a retcon-y way like what happened for Hegemongard (and they're not afraid to piss on characterisation, look at Lyon!), or they flanderise her "character" and develop her around 3 lines she had in the game in her paralogue, and continue to give sad uwus about Momo when he was at best a guy who slaughtered and murdered so much that he abused the Nabatean turned into a relic to the point where he turned in a demonic beast even if he had a matching crest, or at worst, had been part of Nemesis's piñata party in Zanado and was something of a genocider.

Tldr :

Why FE Fodlan never gaf about Nabateans : earl grey + the marketable cast has to stay marketable and you can't sell peanuts at the same price you'd sell swordfish

Why FEH dgaf about Nabatean lore : they can't afford to retcon characters + they have to sell peanut alts with the same seasoning they had in their base game.

For what it's worth though, I think FEH is more daring than the base game(s) given how they gave more lines and screentime to Rhea - through her different alts - than GW. And they even designed her Halloween!alt's lines to piss on some of Claude's assertions, while the various FB involving members of the church also - indirectly - reply to some accusations thrown their way in FE16 when, FE16, never gave them an opportunity or lines to explain that those takes were full of dung.

*"but random, maybe she doesn't know that the crests she often decries is "dragon blood"!"

It's highly debatable, especially given what she and Hubert throw to Billy in CF - but even if she doesn't, Doylist wise we still have a character who, knowingly or not, says "this race and its blood* is the reason why the world sucks" and who is never called out on her prejudice. That's more of an issue regarding the general writing though, she has to be a red emperor and took pages from Ashnard's book, and yet, the player must still feel bad and want to romance her, so her mindest/goal cannot be looked at too closely, because, I guess, even the devs thought it would be difficult to romance her (thus sell goodies!) if more light was shed on the "blood from this race corrupts our people" schtick -> which in turn would also make characters whose backstory and gimmick rely on "crying about crests" be way less likeable, thus marketable and able to sell goodies.

[royalarmyofoz]

had a particularly sappy image in my head today of allison and patty slow dancing in patty's living room

[dreadfuldevotee]

fuuuck missing martha jones like a mfer

[funkygroovejam]

My heart dream last night

A lovely woman and I were with each other on a bed. I can’t remember how we came to be there, but there we were nonetheless. We were both bare chested, but we both had bottoms on. She was sitting on top of me and leaning forward, so that her chest was right before me. Her heart was pounding, and pounding extremely visibly, such that we could see her heart pushing out her chest wildly. Her heart was also so big and strong that we could both hear it beating loudly. I would press my hand to her heart and tell her how much I enjoyed feeling it pumping. I would tell her how much I enjoyed seeing it pumping so visibly. I would tell her how insanely sexy it was that her heart was so strong that I could hear it beating. She was aroused by the fact that I was aroused by her pounding heart. Every so often she would press herself against me so that I could feel her heart hammering against me. Also, every so often she would hold my head to her chest so that I could feel her heart hammering into my ear, and hear how powerfully it was pumping.

I’m not sure whose house we were in, but there were people wandering about it, one of whom was her husband or fiancé. For some reason, we weren’t worried about being caught, and she wasn’t worried about doing what she was doing, because it felt so perfect and so right. She was in a heavenly state of eroticism knowing that I was enjoying the pumping of her heart so very much. My giving her heart such loving attention and appreciation was powerfully overwhelming for her. She was in bliss knowing how I felt about her heart. Every time someone came close to walking into the room, she would roll off of me. When the person was gone, she would roll back on so that we could enjoy her pounding heart once again. It was quite a magical dream. Ugh, I want this in real life STAT!

Damn that was a nice dream. I attribute such a vivid and powerful dream to the lil edible that was still working its magic.

[quietlyblooms]

my brain is just swirling with thoughts of chiyo and the sorts of friendships she’d have with certain characters and also how soft and smitten she’s feel waking up to someone using her as a pillow. i think the weight of another person would be so comforting to her, but the fact they’re laying on her?? holding onto her?? it’s too cute for chiyo to be normal about it :’ )) she’s gonna sleepily admire them and run her fingers through their hair, maybe absentmindedly rub their back or trace patterns on their skin. she’ll probably fall back asleep like that, too. she’s such a sucker for physical touch to begin with, but especially when it’s in a softly intimate situation like that. i feel like i’m rambling but man… it’s really cute to think about.

[tianalaurence1]

the National Coastwatch 30th Anniversary Dinner at Trinity House London, where Her Royal Highness The Princess Royal was the guest of honour as Royal Patron.

[kestrel-of-herran]

zhang jingyi and chen feiyu for lighter and princess poster filming (2/2)

[lilyharvord]

Once again I am screaming and crawling up the walls like Evil Dead over the fact that all the electricons grabbed onto Mare in Harbor Bay when she saw Cal’s body and the healer trying to resuscitate him.

Like everyone around her (except for her) knew her dumb ass was so in love with him that if he died she was going to go off like a fucking bomb and kill all of them and to avoid that they literally were fully prepared to either knock her out with their own ability or contain hers as much as possible.

Which just leads me to believe that if he had died, like if the healer had failed and he had died on the sand Mare would have turned immediately to Iris’s war ship and we would have gotten the duel of the fucking century. Because Iris would have been fighting to just survive and Mare would have been blindly fighting to kill at all costs in as painful of a manner as possible. And she would have taken so many lakelanders and nortian soldiers with her. So tbh, if Dane/the Scarlet Guard was smart, they would have let Cal die in that moment and they could have ended the whole thing in Harbor Bay.

[garbagequeer]

being post swiftie is hard for example the other day i was at my place with a friend who hates taylor swift and i was playing my list of songs ive been listening to this summer and fucking i think he knows comes on and i say hey it's your bestie. and she's like why are we listening to taylor swift. and i go it's my summer playlist sorry this song is so bad. and she goes so why have you been listening to it. and i go well i like it. and shes like do you like it or is it bad. and im like well it's bad but you know i like taylor swift. and she goes okay so you think it's like what a taylor swift song you dont fuck with. and im like well no i do like it but it's not good. and we went in circles like that for a while until i was like well i like this song and i like taylor swift but i know this song is bad because i also like music. do you see what i mean. and i dont think she did

[enderwasended]

Okay I'm curious

If you got a squip, who/what would it look like and what would you get it for?

Personally if I got one I'd get it for academic help/study aid (not cheating on tests) and making sure I don't die in the lab

As for who it is I'd either go Jason Momoa, my history teacher, or my design for it

[skrunksthatwunk]

...seonhee... straight women aren't that excited to look at cute girls...

me when i leap out of my chair heart racing eyes shining cheeks flushing at the thought of flirting with women (i'm heterosexual)

[thedragonagelesbian]

Re: your tags: #what does Bryn think of Gortash and he and Cyrus’ history?

First of all, Bryn hates Gortash. She pushed for redemption for Ketheric (against Mielikki’s wishes) but she cannot wait to destroy Gortash and everything he built on the backs of people he thought were smaller than him.

And once she learns of his past with Cyrus, her first thought is concern for him. Cyrus has made so much progress and she’s worried about what the double whammy of seeing Orin and Gortash (plus just being in Baldur’s Gate) would do to him.

But beneath that she feels so secure and firm in her love and faith in Cyrus, that the thought that Gortash could rattle that is laughable to her.

(I understand that those two thoughts are sort of contradictory but her confidence and love doesn’t save her from the constant worry. The love just makes it worse.)

And finally, I think Bryn is unfazed by Cyrus and Gortash’s past. For better or worse, she views past Cyrus as a different man from the one she knows and she believes in Cyrus’ desire not to be that anymore.

What does Cyrus remember (if anything) about his time with Gortash? How does he react to seeing him again? Would he hesitate to be affectionate with Bryn in his presence or would he think that’s futile (because of Orin or the Steelwatchers)?

ahhhh tyty so much for sharing!! i love that bryn sees cyrus' current self and his past self as being completely separate from one another, because cyrus struggles so much with feeling like he can't let that person & his crimes go, that he has to keep paying penance for them & can't afford the luxury of thinking that he's a different person now

that inability to let go also extends to the people from his old life-- not wanting to lose ketheric or orin or even gortash because he knows they once meant something to him even if he can't remember the specifics, and because he desperately wants to see his own capacity for redemption in them.

So again cyrus doesn't remember exactly who they were to each other (and like pre-amnesia cyrus Loved him and hated/punished himself for it) but when he first hears gortash's voice through the steelwatcher, when he sees him in the throne room, shades of those feelings come back. A sense not merely of familiarity but comfort. Even a twisted kind of safety or affection, the remnants of a devotion twice buried

And at least in cyrus' solo run, it took him a long time to let go of those remnants, and given that he deals with orin & bhaal before investigating the steel watch or the iron throne, he is like Ally allied with gortash & reticent to break that relationship because at that point gortash Is the only thing he has left from the person he used to be. And he knows it's Not good, he knows the right thing to do would be to sever this last thread to who he used to be, but like....... what if he could save gortash too.

Re: whether he wants to express his relationship with bryn... i will get back to working on the orin love test fic soon but that rattles him /so bad/, he feels so much personal responsibility for it and the absolute last thing he would ever want is for his past to hurt bryn, so he would be extremely hesitant to be affectionate with her in front of gortash even if he really needs the grounding & stability & reassurance that she gives him

[truethes]

read somewhere that ser.vamps can change their appearances both in human and animal form due to perceptions of both themselves and those around them which answers so many question but got me thinking.

in the re: ser.vamp au, is the reason why we don't get a close up / any features on frey.as face panel partly because she chose to age with her husband?

[solar-beam-me-up-scotty]

I love (LOVE) Bathena being Buck's parents as much as the next guy, but where are all the hcs for Bathena being MADDIE'S parents too